I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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