I cockslap morals
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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