great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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