Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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