I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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