she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
