"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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