thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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