So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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