he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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