he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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