There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
