I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
