no. you can't hotbox the world.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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