This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
