I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
