Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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