I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
