a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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