Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
