decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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