when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize