i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just want nice things and good sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
