That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
