if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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