You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
