matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
