i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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