better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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