You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
