what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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