Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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