Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
