Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
