Your mouth is God's brothel.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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