Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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(512): View more from Texas

Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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(631): View more from New York

So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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(813): View more from Florida

For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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(815): View more from Illinois

This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.

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(613): View more from Ontario

‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."

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(317): View more from Indiana

It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick

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