Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Will exercising make me less horny?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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