Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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