And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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