Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
