I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
