Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love you. Go after that dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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