My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
