I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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