now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
