both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
