Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
