woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
