It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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