Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
