Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
