It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
