She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
its not stalking. its research.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
