Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
