so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
