You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
