yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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