Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
