Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
