Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
